10. I mean, my hair
is pretty stellar. I straighten it about 14 times in the morning, just
enough times for me to be satisfied that not even the Georgia humidity can ruin
it. Sometimes I even add a cute little braid in the front or tease the bangs to
make a mini Snooki pouf. Now it’s
impossible for any human - or any living organism, for that matter - to have
their hair reach the level of perfection of a Disney Princesses’ (is there no
wind in any of their Kingdoms?), but as a mere mortal I’d say I do an above
mediocre job.
9. I love animals.
Seriously, animals rock. I feel like if a tiger wanted to be my pet, I could
totally train that thing in a heartbeat, Life of Pi style. I’d teach it how to
bring me the remote and paint my toenails.
8. I sing. Not
well, not on key, but I ain’t shy about it, either. I’ll belt out “The Lonely
Goatherd” from The Sound of Music, yodeling parts and all, like nobody’s
business. Though when I sing I generally send people running in the opposite
direction as opposed to attracting woodland animals to my side, I feel as
though it’s the effort that should be judged, and not the quality of the
output. On an unrelated note, I would also make an amazing Fraulein Maria. There are some days when I wake up and just think
to myself, “Gosh I feel an awful lot like an Austrian Governess today…”
7. My milkshake
brings all the boys to the yard. For reals, I attract all kinds of guys. Well,
maybe just one kind...creepy stalker (also his cousin, even creepier creepy
stalker). But if you think about it, none of the Disney Princes are that legit,
either. I mean, the Beast had to keep Belle locked up in a castle to get her to
love him. And Prince Eric liked a girl who never said a word to him. And don’t
even get me started on Prince Charming….how drunk do you have to be to fall in
love with a girl over the duration of one waltz? Like Belle, Ariel, and
Cinderella, I too have dealt with my fair share of losers--though I’m still
waiting for one of them to offer me a ring and a castle…
6. I’m a fashionista.
I learned to dress and accessorize from the masters…Stacey London and
Clinton Kelly, of course. Peter pan collars look fantastic on me and I have a
pair of glittery ballet flats AND a pair of glittery sling backs. Plus, I can
really pull off an apron.
5. I’m pretty sure
that one of my friends is a fairy godmother in disguise. Because sometimes,
when she’s baking, she holds the spatula like a wand.
4. I have a dream.
Rapunzel wanted to see the floating lanterns gleam. Ariel wanted to be where the
people are. Tiana wanted to open her own restaurant. What’s my dream, you ask? Why, for my Pinterest closet to be real, of course.
3. I’m a rebel. I
live life on the edge. Remember
those Nickelodeon commercials that told you to ask a parent before going
online and visiting their website? Well, I didn’t ask permission. Also, I put on my sneakers without untying
them first, and, believe it or not, I almost never let my microwavable dinner cool
for one minute before attempting to eat it.
2. I have an
overprotective father. One the eve of my big move to college, he told me to
“Stay out of trouble. And wear shoes in the shower.” Seriously dad, I know you
love me but geesh, it’s like I’m being smothered by your concern.
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