1. By your ex.
Having ended our relationship two months
prior, I wasn’t entirely surprised when my ex asked me to Prom. Actually I
don’t recall a question ever being asked - - I just recall a Facebook chat
message reading, “Well if neither of us has a date, maybe we should go
together” Gah, adorable…just how a girl always dreams of being asked to Prom!
Despite me seeing the invitation coming, my horror at the idea was still
significant. Our relationship had lasted all of 5 weeks, and I’m really not
sure that we ever actually went out on a date, but I did not want our first one
to come after the relationship was over. Things weren’t exactly peachy after we
broke up, and it had become awkward enough for me to develop strategic routes
for traveling from class to class just so I wouldn’t run into him. My heart
stopped every time I saw a blue jeep because I thought it was him, and I
avoided Facebook altogether so that he couldn’t chat me. It’s safe to say that
I wanted to move past our so-called relationship, and going to Prom together was
not the way to do it.
2. In a stairwell by someone who’s bawling his
eyes out because his girlfriend [literally] just broke up with him.
It sounds made up, and I wish it was. But
yes, one fateful day a week before the big dance, I experienced the epitome of
being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had gone to the fall Homecoming
Dance with a friend of mine, let’s call him Ray. It was completely platonic,
but following the dance Ray developed a crush on me, and who could blame him,
really. In his attempt to figure out how to talk to me, he began talking to one
of my girlfriends, let’s call her Summer. In the process of Ray trying to get
to me through my friend, he actually fell for Summer! This worked out well for me
because I had absolutely no interest in Ray, but ended up backfiring six months
later when Prom time rolled around. Apparently Summer felt like days before one
of the biggest events of the high school experience was an opportune time to
break up with her boyfriend, and leave it to me to walk through the door just
as she was handing him the break up letter.
I did my best to doge Ray; I put my head down
and sped-walked towards the exit, but he managed to catch me. He was
incredulous as to why Summer would do this to him, and more so than being
concerned that his relationship of six months was over, Ray was worried about
losing his Prom date. And, with tears still in his eyes and snot running down
his nose, Ray looked at me with the most pathetic expression I can ever
remember and said with a cracking voice, “well, would you go with me?” Crap.
How do you say no to such a sorry creature? But I knew it is what my answer
needed to be, for Homecoming several months prior was a horrendous experience I
had tried to block from my memory. Let’s just say the highlight was a toss-up
between when the strap of my dress got caught in the pin from his boutonniere
and when he refused to open the car door for me after dinner. Ah, but then
there was the gag-inducing hardness I felt through his pants during Flo-Rida’s “In
the Ayer”….I had countless reasons for not wanting to go to Prom with Ray, now
I just had to figure out how to break it gently to someone who was emotionally fragile.
So, naturally, I chose to lie. “Well Ray, I would but I think I’m already going
with a guy from another school” (a perfect excuse—make up a fake guy from a
different school that Ray’s never heard of and he’ll never know the difference).
“Oh, I see,” said Ray, “well could I at least join your group for dinner?” Double
crap. “Shucks, Ray I really wish you could, but our reservation is for 12
people and the restaurant said that there was absolutely no way to squeeze
anyone else in. And you know restaurants, they never have extra chairs or silverware.
Such a shame, we’d love to have you.” Whew. I managed to dodge a bullet. By
second period the entire school knew about my humiliating invitation to Prom,
and by fourth period Ray and Summer had decided to go to the dance together as
friends despite their break up. I ended up going to my Prom solo, and it was
the best decision of my life.
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