A Drink Called Denial

Sam was the one. I just knew it. I had never felt this way about anyone before, so clearly it had to be love. There was just something about him – his endless supply of jokes that were almost always accompanied by his charming smile, his fun and easy-going personality, and those deep blue eyes. Oh and did I mention he plays guitar too? He was everything I never knew I wanted.

There was just one problem: the feeling wasn’t mutual. I knew it from day one, but I was drunk on denial. I reasoned that he would come around once we spent more time together and he got to know me better. How could he not when I liked him so much? Isn’t that the way it works?! Bad news, folks…no, that is most definitely not how it works. You cannot will someone to like you, no matter how hard you try.

And believe me, I tried. I did everything that I thought would make him like me. You wanna make out? Sure, why not, it’ll give you a reason to come over. You have too much homework to go out on Valentine’s Day? Yeah, okay, I’m sure you’ll love the fact that I completely respect your devotion to your schoolwork. You want me to be cool with you hanging out alone with another girl at midnight, in her dorm room? Consider me cool as ice, because you’re totally going to appreciate my trust.

So, this is what I discovered after 3 months: it doesn’t work, not even a little bit, not even at all. Basically what’s been accomplished is that he now knows that he can walk all over you and you won’t care. You are being used, my friend, and it’s not going to feel good after a while. And I know, you don’t want to break up with him. You’ll never find another person like him. But do you really want to find another person like him? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t appreciate and love you for who you are? You deserve better than that…and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Was breaking up with Sam one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do? You bet. Did it hurt? Most definitely. Was it the right move? Without a doubt. I wasn’t the girl for him, and no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, that was the simple truth. You can spare yourself a lot of tears and wasted time if you just start facing the facts. Put that bottle of denial back in that dusty cupboard where it belongs and start pouring shots of truth for a change.