Indecent Proposal

Date: June 21^st, 2013

Time: 7:32 p.m.

Location: A Fancy Restaurant

The Accused: Frumpy Franny

The Witness: Me and BFF

Incident Description: Witness and BFF were enjoying dinner, minding their own business, when into the restaurant walked a young couple. It seemed as though perhaps the couple were on their first date, as the man was being especially attentive and polite to his date. This idea was quickly shot down by the BFF, however, as the girl in the couple was dressed too casually for it to be a first date; an aqua hoodie, black yoga capris, and a pony tail is what she decided to wear to one of this town’s few formal restaurants. Imagine the Witness and BFF’s horror when one of the wait staff informed us that the couple was actually out for their 3^rd anniversary, sitting at the same table where they sat for their first date. I’m sorry, but how does this NOT scream proposal?? And yet, the girl, whom we affectionately named Frumpy Franny, decided to wear gym clothes.  Suddenly, the Witness and BFF were overcome by a sense of moral obligation to help poor, clearly unsuspecting, Franny. Being fashionistas in their own right, the Witness and BFF could not sit by and watch the most pivotal moment in Franny’s life occur while she was wearing Under Armour. Fortunately for Franny, the Witness and BFF were What Not To Wear experts after many years of Friday night sleepovers spent watching Stacey and Clinton. The Witness and BFF quickly formed a plan: they would catch Franny as she went to the restroom, where the Witness would offer Franny her jean jacket and some bangle bracelets, and the BFF would affix her patent leather turquoise belt to Franny’s waist. The outfit would not be ideal for a proposal, and unfortunately neither the Witness nor the BFF had any nail lacquer with them to freshen up Franny’s manicure, but it would have to do under the circumstances. Regrettably, the Witness and BFF never got the chance to put their plan into action, as Franny apparently had a freakishly large bladder. The Witness and BFF left the restaurant feeling disheartened by the fact that they were unable to help poor, poor Frumpy Franny. They shuddered to think what Franny might wear to her own wedding; perhaps she would at least upgrade to jeans.